My Unconscious Musings

I need to quit dreaming... badly

2005-11-05T08:11:00.000-08:00

hello hello people, just thought i'd update on some of my funky dreams i've been having lately

the night b4 last

i had a dream that there were a specail kind of crayon and a specail kind of paper and if you used them together your drawing would come to life. i was with Haley, Jeremy, and Jiggyfly. We went through my closet door... well, in the dream the O'Connell twin's room was my room and it was filled with books and magic paper... hehe... but neways, 'my' closet was a portal through to another universe. we ended up in the Eutopia... i remember going to it's police station with my dad and also seeing a demo about the three universe... planet... thingies... one of them was earth, then Eutopia, then some other blankish one, then a black and red one (which i think was like the anti-eutopia type thingy)... somehow i ended up in a car with all the people and Jeremy wouldnt quit teasing me then blowing me off.... then the dream switched to a view of some1 entering the closet and putting on a shiite load of dark blue, black, red, green, ect. cowboy hats. Haley and Jiggyfly ran away together. the guy from the closet made a army from the magic paper and tried to take over the worlds. Jeremy just kinda disapeared. i met the president of eutopia's daughter... we ended up frenching cuz she was bi. (i know i know... really really weird) ... and neways ... i just kinda watched the dream like a tv show that i had already seen... so i kept expecting things to happen ... so it was really weird and funky and shtuff..

ok and ... last night... my gosh...

in the beginning of the dream i was with Jhakobi and we were in Michigain. we were staying at my grandma's house and she really never showed up... Kobi and i decided to climb to the top of a mountain... yeah, so we climbed the mountain and i saw a sapphire dragon. it was said that very very few people ever saw her and when they did she would go away really fast. well, we went back home. at the next part it was Sarah Pentacost and me went up and spent the night there. while i was still in my first dream i dreampt that my dad was making me do plumming for punishment and we were using snakes and other reptiles to our assistance. i woke up in the dream and found myself in my moms bed. she had grounded me for going away. Sarah was gone. then the two dreams mixed and i talked my dad into taking me to the hill. we went to an in and ppl were using currency and my dad was really confused. i already knew the style but he didnt. it turns out that nickles and dimes and pennies werent accpeted... it was nuts and the other stuff from Harry Potter. i told the person that my dad wasnt from around here and he kicked us out. i remember crying a lot... except my tears were the color of the dragon. i cried in my dreamed sleep. and then i went to see the dragon. in my dream i thought 'what if i dreampt her' then i said no.. i went with sarah and she saw him too. and i daydreamed about flying with her but this time i didnt make it up the mountain. i didnt get to see her and i cried her metalic light blue tears. they screamed through my eyes and they smelt like spring flowers. then i woke up woke up... and now i'm actually awake.

hehe. i'm just plain nutty like that

luv,
Carrie

2005-09-11T14:37:00.000-07:00

holy shit ghave i had some messed up dreams. tonight was the third night in a row i woke up from a freak fest of mental images.

the first dream... a couple nights ago

i was watching it ... somehow.... and there were these three brothers. they were being payed to throw up all their food... so they ate something that they were served, threw it up onto a plate, and it was served to someone else as a meal. then, it switched over to three kittens... one black, one orange, and another one i can't quite remember... on a beach... talking? yeah... i think so... and then i was corrupting them in a kitchen, but it was baby-kitty and fredrick doing the corrupting. then it switched over to me in a kitchen, and them shooting a cat toy ball at my feet, then i told them nice try... and i looked under the table and saw them. ... then i saw the french (yeah, they were french- i think) and they were throwing up something again... but every time they did i could taste it. it was rank. but this time the food looked discusting and crap.. where as before it looked like a mushy meal ... then it switched to me on the couch- i found an enormous yellow game boy... and i played it... it was this pinball game... a pokemon pinball game... and picachu... no... pichu was the ball, and there were diffrent realms that kept switchin out.. one of them was bowser... all firey and shit.. and then there was a normal, and a water one... and while i was in the bowser one... the pikachu (it was a pikachu now) went through this door and turned into mario, and i had to try and get the key. then it switched back to real .. well, dream real... in ne case i was in the old timey kitchen again.. and .. er... then it was a gameboy again.. maybe,.. i think it was.... in ne case, the picachu game came back, and it was on rumble... and... i remember an animated waterfall... and i dont remember much more... wait... i think there was one part in space... but i cant really remember....

then last night... omg... last night... before i woke up at 4am....

we were in a big building.... and there was a flood. and allie glover was there. and so was meet modi.... and maybe josh thomas.... and we had a pet crocodile... and neways- we got flooded... and i remember allie got into a sink cabinet... and curled up with the alligater.... and she turned into a ten year old. and meet was just kidding around and shit... and i dont remember what josh did. but i do remember that alli, after being ten, was a dude... well, she was a chick, but there was some voice, an animater, that said she had gotten what she always wanted and she was a ten year old boy.... and she was actually still a chick... and i think she died at one point... and i remember it being like Katrina.. but dont really remember what happened....

then after 3.... it got crazy....

we were at this clinic.... and i was found/ 'created' by this one twenty some year old dude... and it was a place where sick (physically) ppl went ... either that or insane ppl who were gonna die. and i was talking to some dude.... a littler guy then me... and we were talking all pleasant and stuff...

"What are you in for?" he asked me..
"Err, i have like, a really low life expectancy...." and i continued to ask my 'creater' , as he called himself, or as he was called.. some... thing... NEWays... i asked "how long am i gonna live again?" in a voice that was really and honestly carefree... but it made the little dude kinda uneasy... then my 'creater' .. who had told me before earlier in the dream without a thought, asked another guy what they had decided on.. they were both on horses over us.
"10.37..." something or another. i'm not sure what it meant, but i did in the dream. but the old dude who had answered continued to say "and that's without holy water, a priest, and some other things i dont recall..
we were disapointed becuase we couldnt get that holy water stuff... and we went (we being my 'creater' the boy, and myself) to sit at a fountain. then one of us said "it's too bad about about the holy water stuff." and then my 'creater' who i will now call "jeffery" becuase i cant remember his name... came out from the fountain ( i had a view of him rock climbing down to the waters)
neways, then he was like... "well it's a good thing that this place has an unlimited supply of the stuff"
he had brought up a cup that i drank. i think maybe the little dude... he's timmy now.... just for the sake of him having a name.. i think he might have drank some too.

i started going down there by myself for a while. i mean, days were going by in the dream. after a while the ward place switched to my grandmas a frame. neways, i started seeing this skull in the waters when i went down. and my brothers had picked up this new video game. well, after a while i got into this conversation w/ this old dude, and he was like... talking about how i shouldnt go down.. cuz i might start seeing this deadly skull... so i wasz like "err... and if i did start seeing this skull... then... well, what would i do?" then it went something along the lines of "what would happen?" and him pretty much saying i would die some exotic death... something... then it showed up on my brother's game. and his x g/f came out of the game... as a zombie like the chick on the grudge, except not all grey blue.. she was just as pretty.... and i had to kill her with my black high heels. and then i had to smash a mirror. then stuff kept coming out. like, demons and shit... and then they beat it. well, in the first time (we travel through quite a few) winston gets sucked into a portal along with the demons.. they have to go back to hell..... neways, ther's a portal and winston was sucked in it... he had short hair.... and then we pressed the rewind... and then in the next time we had to redo something else... and we accidentally made it to where they had to do the level over.... (mind you- i had to kill winston's x like... three times...i really liked erica... she was nice...) well, i woke up soon enough.... and... err... it was just all weird... of course i didnt go into much detail.... so.. blegh.

i think if some ppls read about these dreams i could get some meds for it. but then i wouldnt have a clean record of sanity and i couldnt get emancipated that easy.... shit....

o well, ttyl ppls

damnit

2005-08-05T10:08:00.000-07:00

Hey yall, i had some... interesting .... dreams when i was @ louisiana. but i dont really remember them. i need to start jotting them down as soon as i wake up and then i wouldnt have this problem... but i do recall Jody in a recent one.... i was upstairs in the music room w/ winston... who i think was high.... and jody walked in. lol. and i remember some sort of party.... what i'm sure i remember are my daydreams. the one i'm posting is ... yeah

i went to Adam's party and i was skinny as hell. and i kinda passed out walking in the door. but it looked like i tripped... so that's what i told him. ... them, that's what i told every1 @ the party... neways- i was leaning against his bed and i 'dozed off' this time he didnt buy it (how in the world could he have??) and asked to talk to me outside - as in, outside his bedroom. and i told him what was going on...and yeah..... it was depressing. especailly to see adam and lee (who of course was there) and who also saw me outside.

of course it doesnt mean nething. it probably occured because they think i'm skinny and i SERIOUSLY disagreed w/ them.... disagree* blegh. that's never gonna happen.... so .... yeah. that.

ttyl ppl,
Elaine

;LSDMC;ALS V'S

2005-07-23T10:59:00.000-07:00

Last night i was on one of those dating shows... i think @ one point i was in a comba.... possibly... i dont remember much- green day was constantly playing. then again- maB i was hearing it in real life... that's a possiility. idk. it was odd..... i dont really remember much.

Forgetting is The Enemy Teasing My Thoughts

2005-07-22T11:25:00.000-07:00

Is ne1 reading this thing? i have no comments.... o well, it's pointless in ne case.

ok, i'm constantly dreaming about.. omg how the hell did i forget. idk- it's really repetative. i think my dream last night was like real life... but i only remember one line "i'll never let you forget"

god that's so crappy, i had it less then a couple minutes ago. o well, i suppose it doesnt really matter...

Christine, Deo, Hateya, and Thor (just names people)
Elaine

Murdererous

2005-07-18T11:06:00.000-07:00

omg, i had a freaky dream, not freaky as in Mike Huckab as the DJ either, i got the shiite scared out of me. ok, only one part was scary, the rest was just... ummm... yeah. neways, here it is

I lived in a nice 2 story house by a lake- we were all wealthy and crap. it was fathers day. all the wives went out to wall mart to buy gifts, but none of them had their husbands. and i mea- there wasnt a single dude in the store. neways - for some reason no1 elses' husband had told them the right gift to get. (you could tell by their expressions, chatter, ect.) and we knew. he told us to get him gloves, something... and something. one woman that i had noticed as we walked in came up to us, like.. a zombie... and asked what to get... but for some reasonmy mom (who in reality is usually extremely helping) wouldnt tell her. l8er (b4 we got the third gift) my dad came. he seemed so... surperior. and my mom was all - as if she was a poor litte girl flirting w/ one of the school's rich kids. and finallywe went and got the third gift, and she seemed so proud. then my dad was like 'there wasnt much competition' and my mom was like 'there was one lady-but i could take her' and.... yeah. it was peculiar. but the dream me didnt notice ne thing wrong... neways. when we went back to BBQ, and i over heard some kind of arguement. and they deided they would settle it. my dad needed his suit. so they decided to do it @ 10 pm. that night- i woke up (wich btw made it seem VERY real) neways, and i went out to the lake.. the place where my dad and that dude were gonna meet and right by the bank i found a human head. and i bet u i was pale white. now that i look back on it- there were no footprints, no nothing, just absolutely no traces apart from the head that ne1 had been there that night. but somehow i knew it was my dad. i went back to the house, and i brought the head w/ me... obv. meaning i had to touch it. i put it on the counter. and i went to my dad- and i woke him up. on the way i spaced out/ daydreamed about how he would wake up... well, when he really did- i reassured him it was immportant ect. and he needed to come into the kitchen. (note- the dream me didnt notice this- but i didnt see his suit- the suit that should have been worn @ the 10:00 meeting... the 10 oclock meeting that should have lasted more then an hour- wich the dream me didnt notice either) in ne case- when i drug him out there- the head was gone. i started breathing extremely hard. partially bcuz i had just woken up my dad for no reason- and the dream me feared him- and partially bcuz there was a fcking dead dudes head on my counter that somehow disapeared within a matter of minutes. and no1 else was awake. he said 'calm down' in a calm voice... and just then- in reality- the phone rang... i woke up. and i was dizzy for shooting up @ a 90 degree angle in less then 2 seconds. blegh. and btw- sometime during that dream... there was something extremely freaky going on... and it was weird as in-funny.

ok, Julie was spending the night @ my house in the dream- as in.. the 'dream house' ... neways... and we were dressing up in various outfits- seeing how they looked. ect. and.. yeah. it was weird.... ive never seen julie in a pink shirt and rolled up brown pants.... lol. and then there was another irrelivant part. where alyssa, julie, the twins, and i were dancing on stage- i remember blue black light lights and pink and orange and green and other colored spotlights. but i dont remember what we were dancing to.

told u it was weird. ... and fcked up. really, really, fuked up.

Not a dream... well, the first part in ne case

2005-07-16T22:54:00.000-07:00

I would still like to know why it is that we dream- there just doesnt seem to be a good enough answer. because for every explanation- there seems to be another question. and i dont want to hear 'just because' there is a reason for everything, it's just that we dont know them.. so it seems as tho they will always be unexplained. and they probably will. if we realized why all the 'becauses' were 'just because' then would we not have hope for a maB? i'm beginning to be like Julie... she makes me think too much. then again- b4 kindergarten i was asking my mom... shtuff. lofl. and i was asking her why the sky was blue and if there was a god... ect. pretty much all the same things i wonder about now... except i had a certain sense of knowing... something. now i know nothing. i suppose- as i once heard- 'the more you know the more you know you dont know'

in my thoughts- dreams- whatever u wish to call them... i dont know... things seem.... Different. for example- a recent thing

i'm out in the rain, i'm lost, i'm hopeless. i dont know what to do. it seems like just yesterday that i was warm in my mom's arms. and now she was gone. as was my dad, my brothers, and my hopes. they died in a car - coming back from dropping me off somewhere. when they were found i disapeared- for fear of what my new family would be. my mascara was smeared and the earth smelled of mud, i could hear sirens, somehow. and a person comes to me, lays his hand on my shoulder. i feel his warmth, but as i look up, he disapears. my brother- or- his ghost. and so i cry. not knowing where i was to go or what i was to do. knowing my friends would not take me (or atleast- their parents wouldnt allow them to) and knowing that those whos parents didnt care were of the opposite gender.

my family constantly dies in my things and it's usually indirectly my fault. Once they took me to PP, and on the way back- were hit by a semi. once they were shot and killed in our house- and i dont quite recall why it was my fault (but i remember it was) ect. it's extremely crappy. i killed julie in the last one... wich suked. i've killed myself- not like, , but like- one of those shetty situations when the crazy person w. a gun is all like, making me choose wich person to kill- and i always pick myself- even tho who ever else didnt want me to. or- i'll have to watch another person pick themself... or something like that. it's seriously shetty.

there are some more- that i just dont care to post on this blog - or ne other one for that matter. - but that's just an idea of what some of the crappy things i have. then again- not all of them are crappy- just most of them... well, nearly all of them NOT THE POINT. i can have happy thoughts too ya know... but they usually have some shetty twist- or are extremely peculiar. more then likely- if i consider them happy- they're.... ummm.... odd. lets just leave it @ odd.

this post is seriously crappy, o well, i'll update this if i have a dream tonight. wich is possible... i ... guess... ummm... yeah

TES, WWFS,
Elaine

Woopie for the dojo

2005-07-15T14:15:00.000-07:00

Ok, firstly, this is going to be another blog where i post daydreams, dreams, ect... whatever. they're not usually that bad.... lol. i know some people's are worse. hehe. TY Julie for giving me the title for this. it's awesome. well... umm... i suppose i'll start w/ last night.

ok, it was me, megan, kristen, alyssa, meet, some other dude.. i think(cant remember-lol), and Julie. who had a little sister, who was also in the dream. well, there were other ppl there, but hey, how in the hell am i supposed to remember??? i think chase and kp were there... idk... nor is that the point... neways. And we were in this plain- cliff area... it's hard to explain. and i was taking pictures. i went to wal mart and i got them developed, and i got them back in a year book form thing.... wich was weird. but it was normal in the dream... lol. neways. we were @ that place, bcuz we were hang gliding. and there was some1's parents in charge... neways. we had some fun. we were all having a good time. somehow i ended up in a market place, and i talked to some ppls parents that wanted them home soon. everybody in the dream was all - smiley and shit. neways, i went back and told the person in charge what the parents had said and she was like, 'i'm in charge of them until 5 o'clock' but the weird thing was that it was after 5... it was 630 or 7... i recall some scheduling conflicty thingies... and somehow i ended up out of the lodge (wich came directly after the market place) and was outside... wich was now like... grassy mountains.... and every1 was training... it was like a Japanese cartoon..... neways, and it was mine and julie's turn on the hang glider... and she decided to go alone. so she was out, and me, meet, and julie's little sister were walking around in @ the lake... wich was weird... neways, an old wise lady came up and told us Julie was dead. and i cried, and so did her little sister... neways. i was put in charge of her - for lack of a name for julie's little sister. neways, in just a minute she was running around w/ meet- having fun and crap- but somehow that was bad. somehow or another i ended up walking w/ my mom, and telling her about my new responsibilities... and she said something about her falling for meet... and i said something along the lines of ' well i did too- cant blame her' neways. (btw- julie's little sister was probably newhere from the ages of 9-12 tops.. and me and other ppls were 13 or 14 or something) in ne case, somehow the dream went to being on some quest... that i can only remember scenes from... and somehow it went to me, kristen, megan, and alyssa in a blue van driving somewhere.... to back to training w/ ppls.... but Julie remained dead. and it just kinda was .... like that..... some ppl were just in the scenery... and some ppl were w/ me. it was effing weird... and.. yeah... o well.... i dont contol my dreams... i control about 1/2 of my daydreams. lol.

WWFS, and TES
Elaine